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What I Learned from Men Who Find Bisexual Women Smokin’ Hot

Because they think that this means they might get to indulge in two of the most common male fantasies:  Watching two women getting hot and sexual together and having a threesome with two women.

It’s the fantasy that most men bring up as soon as they find out I am bisexual.   Question 1 is usually ‘Do you have a bisexual girlfriend?’.  Question 2 is ‘Will you bring her to bed with us?’.  If the answer to 1 or 2 is no, the next question is still ‘Can I watch?’ or ‘Will you tell me about what you do together?’

I had a look to see if there is any science to explain why this might be and I was not able to find any research.  There is plenty of research that places the fantasy of sex with two women together ranking in the top fantasies of men.    But nothing about what they find so exciting.  So I decided to do a bit of research of my own.  So far, this is only an informal poll but I may do a more scientific survey soon.

So here’s what I found out talking with a small number of sexually adventurous men from the US and the UK between the ages of 30 and 70:

I asked what makes bisexual women so attractive to them.  Here’s what some of them said:

Author Shakir Rashan replied ‘The fact that they enjoy the female form as much, if not more than I do. Being married to a bisexual woman, to have her react to a woman I am attracted to without feeling like I am taking away from her is an aphrodisiac like no other’.  Two men said that it was the fact that they are comfortable being with men and women and feel happy being who they are.    All the men spoke of these women as ultra-feminine in part because they appreciate women.  All the men who responded to the survey find two women having sex with each other exciting.  One man replied that by watching women together he has learned how to better please a woman.

I asked about experience with threesomes.  In my sample, all but one respondent had experienced a threesome.  The final respondent replied that he enjoys watching but does not prefer to have sex with more than one person at a time.    Of the men who had experience with threesomes, all of them enjoyed the experience when everyone was into everyone else.   They all mentioned the ‘dreaded pillow princess’.  In threesomes, pillow princesses always want to be the centre of attention.  The men I interviewed said that this changed the energy in a negative way.

I asked about unicorns.  In the polyamory and swinging worlds, a unicorn is a bisexual woman who likes to have sexual relationships with couples or who will bond with a couple and be monogamous with that couple.    The unicorn is as opposed to the straight or heteroflexible woman who approaches the couple because she wants to be with the man and she thinks by doing this, the man will look favourably upon her.  All the men I spoke to enjoyed unicorns when they could find them and preferred to avoid straight women who approached them when they were in a couple.

All of the men said they enjoy watching women together.  One said ‘One woman is beautiful, two women equals twice the beauty and sexiness’.   Even the men who have had lots of experience with two women rated this high on their fantasy hit parade and said that they still watch woman on woman pornography.

A few of the men made it very clear that they did not like to watch women play with strap on’s with each other.  They emphasised that the women need to be ‘very feminine’ for them to be interested watching them together.  A few of the men said they really enjoyed the opportunity to direct the action between the women.  Others liked either the pure voyeur experience or being completely involved in the action.

Here are a few tips to really heat your man up that I got from doing this survey:

  1. Invite another woman along to put on a show. Make sure it is someone who you are really into and who is really into you.
  2. Tell your man a detailed story about you and another woman and what the two of you would do to each other and to him if given the chance. Pick out a movie that has a good threesome in it and watch it with him, all the while whispering to him what you would like to do.
  3. Get a girlfriend to join you and do to her all the things you wish your man would do to you. Make sure he is watching closely…

Finally, if you are single, consider being a unicorn at least once!  But don’t be a pillow princess.  Shower the couple with all of your attention.  Show them how much you desire both of them and then enjoy!

If you’re curious about bisexual women, bisexuality, kink or other alternative sexual lifestyles, I can help and here’s how. Reach out here for individual coaching. You can also listen to my Sex Spoken Here podcast. Or connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, email, Yourtango.


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