x rated

ReUpload: 24 X is for X Rated with Angela Skurtu

Dr Lori Beth Bisbey started broadcasting The A to Z of Sex® in October 2016.  As the result of an unknown internet issue, 79 early episodes disappeared from podcast providers (though they are all still available on Captivate where all of the episodes live and on atozofsex.com).

We are republishing the episodes to all good podcast providers along with our regular content until all episodes are available.  This episode was recorded in 2017.

Hi everyone!  Welcome to the A to Z of Sex. I’m Dr Lori Beth and I am your host. We are working our way through the erotic alphabet one letter at a time.  Just a reminder this podcast deals with adult content, so if you don’t have total privacy, you might want to put on your headphones. Today the letter is X and X is for X rated

So many things are classed as x rated or things that should not be seen by anyone under 18. We have learned to associate the term X rated with anything to do with sex and pornography.

Angela Skurtu is a speaker, author, and president of St. Louis Marriage Therapy, LLC. She is a Missouri Licensed Marriage Therapist and Nationally Certified Sex Therapist through AASECT. Her recent book “Pre-Marital Counseling: A Guide for Clinicians” (2016) discusses the predictive factors of relationship success, 5 habits for healthy relationships, and how to keep the spark in the relationship long term. She is also writing the book, “Helping Couples Overcome Infidelity: A Therapist’s Manual,” (Expected 2017, Routledge). She has spoken at local and national conferences, schools, businesses, radio and youtube. She has contributed to various blogs including Good Therapy, Psychology Today, and the Huffington Post. During her seminars, Skurtu uses humor, educational skills, interactive discussion in both small and large groups, and stories to convey her message about sexual and relationship health.

We spent a lot of time talking about how important communication is and how important it is to gain consent. Angela sees getting consent at each new step to be an excellent way of encouraging couples to talk more about what they want to explore.  We spoke about how often we see couples who have never explored what they desire and never really spoken about sex though they have been together for many years and how important it can be to give clients permission to explore their sexuality and to speak about all aspects of sex.

We spoke about how important it is to learn something about the new things you wish to try. Angela highlighted anal sex as an example. We spoke about how the internet can contribute to knowledge.  We spoke about getting couples to be fully present with each other, to disconnect from devices and to be completely present during sex. We spoke about how people who have experienced sexual trauma need to be present during sex and how hard this can be. Angela talked of helping people who dissociate to return to their bodies before continuing the sexual experience so that they are fully present and how important it is to be sober so that they are able to be present and give clear consent.  Angela also spoke about creating anticipation and teaching couples to flirt and increase desire without feeling that they must then have sex. She spoke about giving her clients permission to say no at any point and to focus on each part of the sexual experience. She also talked about helping couples to spice things up by fostering good communication and trust.

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